Mice, Plant Murder, and Why I’m Not Allowed In Home Depot Unsupervised

There is a mouse in my living room.

It’s adorable and tiny and has these precious little whiskers and hides behind my couch like the most precious thing in the world… but seriously, this is not your home, mouse, you need to go.

David is out of town at a job interview in the great northwest so this afternoon I went to Home Depot for one thing and one thing only: a mouse trap. One of those ones that traps it but doesn’t kill it so I could let it go at the park and it can have a happy and free mouse life and I can have a happy and mouse-free living room. But I digress.

Hardware stores are right up there with Target on the list of places I’m not allowed to go unsupervised because I go in for $5 worth of things and leave with $50. So I walked into Home Depot with a mission to get my one thing and my one thing only…

except then I remembered we’d talked about getting a hook to hang all the hula hoops so they’re not all laying in a pile in the front entry way…

then I remembered something else…

then…

Everything spiraled out of control until I found myself piling tiny succulents into my cart like a mad woman while my children helped/dared each other to touch the cacti on the next shelf.

A little backstory: You know how some people have a green thumb? I have a black thumb. I kill plants and I kill them with what looks like wild abandon. If we had gone with the “plant, then gold fish, then dog, THEN baby” system I would have died childless. But, much like running, every six months or so I decide that I should own some plants, because I’m from the midwest and somewhere on the hippie scale so by all accounts I should absolutely be able to keep one stupid plant alive.

Compound that with the fact that recently I read a few blog posts from different people about how succulents are damn near impossible to kill. Then I kept seeing them around. Then suddenly I’m in the Home Depot garden department grabbing plants left and right laughing manically “You will never die! Bwahahaha!” as all the innocent bystanders tried not to make eye contact.

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So here are my new plants that I am determined not to kill. I planted them in some old coffee mugs I had lying around because they were broken enough not to drink out of but not broken enough for my hoarder self to get rid of them, and cleared all the random junk off the window sill above my sink like some sort of grown up and TA DA! I am now the kind of person who has house plants that are alive!

At least for a few weeks.

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2 thoughts on “Mice, Plant Murder, and Why I’m Not Allowed In Home Depot Unsupervised

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