Whenever the router gets squirrely and David isn’t home to immediately fix it I start panicking and wondering if it’s not my router… but the internet itself, in it’s entirety, is down and civilization as we know it is really crumbling around me but I have no way of knowing because I’m cut off from all information sources.
Logically I’m aware that it’s just the router being a pain in my ass, but I also can’t help being fully convinced that the financial system has crashed, society is degenerating into its most primal form, downtown Phoenix is burning (as all major cities are), and the violent, looting mobs are headed my way while I sit on my couch like a bump on a log, completely oblivious to our impending doom, swearing at my laptop.
Because tonight I’m pissy because I can’t look up this recipe on pinterest… but by next week we’ll be hiking through the mountains, looking for a cave to sleep in, the kids barely surviving on the wild seeds and berries I got by having sex with the cannibalistic leader of one of the newly formed tribes because my bootiliciousness is now the only form of currency I have at my disposal.
Thank God for my IUD… but get ready Verona, because it’s only a matter of time before you become the child bride to one of the nihilistic warlords of the new world order.
So I turn the router off and back on again, the cyber world pops up without any news agencies covering the apocalypse. And I realize once again that I’m a lot crazier than even I usually realize.