I’m Not Allowed to Watch TV

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Back in my crazy high school and college days my sister Tricia and I were not allowed to watch TV.  Why?  Because we are completely incapable of ignoring commercials… specifically food commercials.  Like, it was a problem.  We’d watch something for 15 minutes then be in the kitchen making anything from pudding to chili and cornbread casserole… all because we saw it on TV.  We are a food advertiser’s dream come true.

One time we saw a Taco Bell commercial late at night, so of course we jumped in the car to go get some… but it was already closed.  Instead of going home we drove to the next town over to their Taco Bell.  Also closed.  (Remember, we grew up in a place with a million tiny towns spaced obnoxiously apart.)  Except by then we NEEDED a fucking Taco Bell crunch wrap supreme… it wasn’t negotiable anymore.  So we kept going, from town to town.  Four hours later, after putting more than 100 miles on my car and checking every single Taco Bell in a three county radius, when we stomped back into the apartment in anger and wrote very strongly worded letters to the TV company about how they should not be allowed to air commercials for restaurants when said restaurants were already closed.  

Eventually we were told by pretty much everyone we ever hung out with that we weren’t allowed to watch TV anymore.  For our own good.

But that was then… I’m a grown up now.  Right?

Fast forward to the present.  David and I haven’t had TV since we moved here more than 6 years ago.  We have netflix, a DVD player, and right before the last World Cup he and our friend Steve jimmy rigged this thing to try and make it possibly for us to watch the matches.  (It’s a 2 by 4 with a bunch of untwisted clothes hangers connected to it with wire… all nailed to our roof.  We’re classy people.)  Even then we could only get it on the Spanish channel… needless to say it’s way too much effort to watch normal TV on any sort of regular basis.

Until tonight, when David decided he wanted to try and watch football.  By the time he got it going football was done but we watched an episode of The Voice because, hey, all that effort can’t go to waste.

And then, all of a sudden, I was in the Jack In The Box drive through ordering David and I something called a “Late Night Munchie Meal” that included (among so many other things) a cheese burger that instead of sitting passively between two buns was smashed between two entire grilled cheese sandwiches.

And what a glorious monstrosity it was.
And what a glorious monstrosity it was.

And this, my friends… this is why I’m not allowed to watch TV.

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