True Facts about Leonard Cohen

Leonard Cohen, for those of you unfortunate enough to not be familiar with his work, is probably the greatest singer/songwriter of all time.  Go listen to If It Be Your Will or Everybody Knows again and just try to argue with me.  There were many times in high school when I threw myself down on my bed in a fit of emo angst and declared that Leonard Cohen was the only person who understand how I felt.  (Full disclosure, that never literally happened… but it could have, because I totally still feel that way sometimes.)

A picture of Leonard Cohen and I hanging out.
A picture of Leonard Cohen and I hanging out.

Here, for your amusement, are a few completely true facts my friend Joe (the only person I know who fully understands the magic, joy, and all around amazeballs that is Cohen) and I came up with this afternoon while discussing how under appreciated Cohen is.

-Mozart, Beethoven, and The Beetles have all cited Leonard Cohen as their biggest influence.

-Abraham Lincoln was once quoted as saying “I hope I can be as cool as Leonard Cohen when I grow up.”  He was 34 at the time of the quote.

-God has a Leonard Cohen playlist on spotify, he was actually listening to it when he created the world… that’s right, Leonard Cohen’s music doesn’t mirror the nature of the world, the nature of the world mirrors Leonard Cohen music.

-Leonard doesn’t write any songs. They have all existed since the beginning of time locked behind an magical electrical field constructed by Nicola Tesla himself who was inspired by the angelic sounds Leonard had not yet made.

-Despite being born in different centuries Leonard Cohen and Nicola Tesla are best friends, they even have matching BFF necklaces, because their combined awesomeness surpasses the normal laws of time and space.

-Leonard Cohen was born because God wanted to put words in the best order possible and needed help.

-Every time a baby is born it’s just because a sperm was so determined to hear the music of Leonard Cohen that it went to all that trouble to make it happen.

-The word “incredible” and every single synonym for it was created in an attempt to find a word that adequately described how great Leonard Cohen is.  Once people realized the word still doesn’t do him justice they start using it for other things instead.

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