Drunk Bible Stories-Job

I’ve decided to start a new segment on here called “Drunk Bible Stories”, the premise of which is, after I’ve been drinking, I’m going to get on here and tell y’all a Bible story.  Why?  Because I think it will be funny.  And because it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want.

Fair warning, I swear a lot when I’m drunk.  Like, so much it would make your grandma have a coronary.  So quit reading now if that’s going to piss you off.

So without further ado… The Story Of Job, from the book of Job

Job: “God I don’t understand all the things!  I’m so upset that I don’t understand all the things!  It’s SOOO unfair!  Explain all the things to me or I’m gonna keep going all pissy teenager on your ass about it!”

God: “Are you fucking serious right now?  I created the me-damn universe!  You live in a fucking tent.  You think you can understand me?  That’s just fucking hilarious.  Now go cook something over a fire and check yourself while I keep managing all of creation, forming new life, and holding the entire freaking universe together.”

Job:  *staring with his mouth half open*

God:  “Exactly.  That’s what I thought.”

The end.


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