Dear Teenage Me,
I feel like I should start this off with some really meaningful and inspirational thing about life or whatever but I know you well enough to be aware you want me to get to the good part so here are some words of wisdom from someone who has (literally) been there.
1. Quit bitching about your weight. You’re really freaking skinny so when you get all self-conscious you just sound dumb.
2. On that note, quit bitching about everything. I know you think it’s cool to be all angsty but that’s only because you’ve been listening to too much Dashboard Confessional and it’s melting your brain into emo mush. Just cut that shit out.
3. You know all the fabulous ideas you have? The movies you and your friends are going to make, the road trips you’re going to take and lie to your parents about, the rebellious adventures that involve rooftops or spray paint or whatever? Those are actually really cool ideas, but you only going to end up doing a small portion of them because you get lazy. Just do it… trust me, you’ll have a blast and if you don’t do it now you’ll wish you would have.
4. Once you graduate nobody will give a shit what grades you got in high school. Do what you need to do to pass and spend the rest of your time on #3.
5. You have all sorts of baggage and issues about sex resulting from the religious ideas you’ve been fed… you haven’t realized that yet but you totally do. If you make a conscious effort to get over that now maybe you’ll make better decisions that I did which would be AWESOME, but even if you don’t you’ll turn out fine anyway.
6. You’re a really unsafe driver. To be honest it’s a minor miracle that you’re still alive. Keep your eyes on the road!
7. Appreciate every single moment you have with your friends. I probably shouldn’t tell you who because it will just mess with your mind, but some of the people you love and value most in this world aren’t going to be alive in a few years. Instead of wasting your time with people who are lame because you’re too angsty (#2) or in relationships with guys who treat you like shit (#5) spend it with the awesome people around you, it’s not like there’s a lack of them.
Don’t let this letter make you think your life will be full of regrets or that you’re messing everything up. You’re a pretty cool person, and you’re going to grow up to have a really fabulous life. Life past high school is so much more your speed, you’re going to have a blast with it.
Oh, one last thing, when you’ll-know-who asks you to pierce his nipples Just. Say. No. It is not like piercing ears… not even a little bit… and the sink in your dads poor bathroom is going to look like it hit a deer from all the blood once you’re done. I repeat, just say no.
Have fun, I’ll
see you be you in a couple years.