This past week something came up that would have been kinda fun for David to do, but he couldn’t, because he’s married and has kids.
I’ve been the spokesperson for a spouse and kids not meaning you had to settle down. Settling down is something old people do and is code for “I’ve given in to the man”… marriage on the other hand is something you do when you find a person you want to spend your life with, having kids is something that happens when
you’re too drunk to properly use birth control you want that love to expand into new people. Neither of those things have to involve the dreaded “settling down”.
So when this little incident arose and it was blatantly obvious that having me around was holding David back, even though it was from something small and fairly insignificant, my world was twisted up. WHAT!?!?! Being with me is holding David back?!?! This is not what love is supposed to look like!!! What was I dooooooooing!?!?!”
Because love isn’t suppose to hold you back, right?
Then it occurred to me, my dream job has always been to be Snow White at Disney World… I’m so meant to be Snow White that two of the three main requirements “hair black as ebony, skin white as snow” are hardwired into my very DNA, not to mention I can sing. All I need is a tube of red lipstick and this Disney Princess is ready to rock!
But I will never be Snow White at Disney world because David hates the entire area around LA so much it hurts… and as such we can never live there.
David is holding me back. And I’m holding David back… in much bigger ways I’m sure than the little issue that spawned this mental drama. We’re holding each other back. And on that note the kids are holding us back… possible even more than we’re holding them back, which is also quite a bit. We’re just a cluster fuck of stopping each other’s fun.
But we do it because it’s more than just that. (Well, that’s why David and I do it… the kids do it because if we weren’t around to feed them they’d probably die… they’re basically stuck with us.) I’m 100% positive that the things I gain by being with David are better than being Snow White, even though that would be totally awesome. I’m assuming David feels the same way because
love is basically just selfishness disguised he’s constantly chosing to be with me.
In the end I think we’re probably all winning. And even though nobody’s going to pay me for it I’m going to be Snow White for Halloween.
And just for the record, this little piece of self realization does not mean that we’ve settled down.