Alternate title: recently conversation with my friend Darla.
Darla: I have serious doubts about the club’s ability to handle us at this particular point in time.
Me: I was thinking of just shaking it. Probably in the same manner I shake polaroid pictures.
Darla: I have some questions for you about what you intend to do with all that junk. I’m inquiring specifically about all the junk that is located in your trunk.
Me: Darla, it’s the anniversary of your expulsion from your mother’s uterus. And we should celebrate in a manner befitting the anniversary of your expulsion from your mother’s uterus. We should have alcoholic beverages, probably Bicardi, and drink them in a slow and deliberate manner as we should on that anniversary. And honestly, I’m not at all concerned about the fact that this isn’t the actual anniversary of said event.