How to make rap lyrics sound as white and square as humanly possible.

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Alternate title: recently conversation with my friend Darla.

Darla: I have serious doubts about the club’s ability to handle us at this particular point in time.

Me: I was thinking of just shaking it.  Probably in the same manner I shake polaroid pictures.

Darla: I have some questions for you about what you intend to do with all that junk.  I’m inquiring specifically about all the junk that is located in your trunk.

Me: Darla, it’s the anniversary of your expulsion from your mother’s uterus.  And we should celebrate in a manner befitting the anniversary of your expulsion from your mother’s uterus.  We should have alcoholic beverages, probably Bicardi, and drink them in a slow and deliberate manner as we should on that anniversary.  And honestly, I’m not at all concerned about the fact that this isn’t the actual anniversary of said event.

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