We’re gearing up for the birth of a baby… but not just any baby… a boy.
You know what boys come with? Other that snips and snails and puppy dog tails? A penis, and more importantly a foreskin on that penis. Leading to the grand and epic question… what to do about that foreskin.
When I was pregnant with Verona as soon as the sonogram indicated she didn’t have one we completely ceased all circumcision discussion, but once The Captain’s sonogram revealed he did we were forced back into the conversation.
For those of you who have never been responsible for making this decision you may not be aware, but it is not a friendly conversation to be apart of. Mention the word circumcision in many parenting circles and you will be met with angry people on one side screaming “HYGIENE! HIV! YUCKY!” and “GENITAL MUTILATION!” on the other. Try to find unbiased research on it and you’ll find mostly articles that fall into one of those two camps as well.
My first step was quizzing people who I trusted who had insider knowledge of penises and circumcision… meaning our guy friends. The biggest thing I took away from that was that, as far as I can tell, women care a whole lot more than guys do. I didn’t come across a single guy, snipped or unsnipped, who wasn’t completely satisfied with the state of his member or who was opposed to anyone circumcising or not circumcising their own kid.
My next step was miles and miles of research because I am a crazy research fiend who can’t make a decision without at least nine valid resources to back me up. After reading countless articles, CDC reports, statistic sheets, personal accounts, and op ed columns I has become convinced that 1. It didn’t really matter and 2. I hated everybody on both sides of the argument. At one point in frustration I asked David only half jokingly “Can we please just cut half his foreskin off so we’re not forced to side with any of these people? Please?” David said no.
So I did what any mother who was thoroughly unconvinced of either option would do… I passed the decision off to someone else. I told David that as our families resident expert on having a penis the choice was officially up to him. I was out.
So what have we decided on? We (and by we I mean David) did finally make an official decision but maybe it’s not my place to broadcast the nature of my sons junk to anyone with an internet connection.
The state of his wiener is his story to tell. My story is that not only is this a big decision but it’s a really hard one for a lot of parents to make. And in the end, whether we chose the route of the scissors or to keep our little monsters business all natural, it’s stupid that we can’t all support each other because the truth is we’re all going to make plenty of good choices and plenty of bad ones and we’re all on this ridiculous road together. This whole parent thing is stress inducing enough without us guilt tripping one another.
So here’s to all parents trying to make the best decisions for their kids. I wish you the best! Here’s to all the male genitalia out there, snipped or otherwise. May your path be free of STDs and premature ejaculation! And here’s to everyone… traveling down their own road… trying to figure it all out. You can do it!