Since I know absolutely nothing about football and can think of very few things in this world that I care less about, the super bowl for me is entirely about cheese dip and fabulous commercials. Given my complete lack of reliable information to determine who I think will win (and subsequently, who I should root for) I have devised my own system.
I imagine the mascots of the two teams… not the guys with fuzzy suits with giant heads doing cartwheels on the field but the actual embodiments of the mascots… getting in a fight. Whoever would win, that is who I root for. For example, last year it was the Saints vs. Colts which was really easy… an old guy with God powers could totally kick the ass of a little baby horse… no contest. So I rooted for the Saints. (I don’t remember who won so I’m not sure if the system worked or now. Who cares.)
Anyway, my system this year has left me at an impasse… if a big muscular guy who works in a steele mill got in a fight with a giant slab of cheese? It seems easy at first because the guy could eat the cheese and it appears that would be the end of the fight, but look a few days down the road and that huge man is going to be seriously constipated (the cheese fights back!) Basically this is a fight where in the end, everybody loses. So the game is tomorrow and I still have no idea who to root for. If somebody else has insights into this mythical battle of man v. dairy leave me a comment… let me know.