I’ve been contemplating lately (by lately I mean since about two weeks after I found out I was pregnant) what kind of mother I want to be and what I need to do to be that person. The thing about kids is you know everything there is to know about them until you have one and then suddenly you realize you don’t know a damn thing. I’ve decided that my #1 most imporant goal is for V to grow up to love and respect herself. Origionally I said it was for her to feel loved and respected by us but I realized that, while also being important, it is really just the means to the more imporant end of her own self worth. Coming in a close behind was I want her to feel free to make up her own mind and have the critical thinking skills to do so, and to live joyously and embrace everything that life has to offer.
How to be the mom that helps her grow into that person is something I haven’t figure out yet, and I’m starting to suspect that I never will. Instead, I forsee myself fumbling along with the best of intentions, second guessing myself at every turn, but I’m choosing to see that as a good thing because in my experience the parents who think they have it all figured out are usually the worst ones.
Right now I’m trying to focus on respecting and trusting her. As much as we as a society claim to value children I don’t feel like we respect them very much. People talk to children in a way that they would never dream of talking to someone their own age and disreguard their thoughts and feelings (or simply dismiss them as “cute”) which would be considered condescending and completely innapropriate if done to their peers.
I didn’t think much of it until I had my own child but now it really bugs me. V isn’t just my adorable little girl, she’s a really cool person. She has a fantastic personality, she has opinions and preferences that differ radically from my own sometimes, she is a great person to be around and no less deserving of respect just because she hasn’t been on this earth as long as some of the rest of us.
I’ll talk more about this later but in the interesting of not being the person with obscenely long blog posts I’m gonna stop here. Oh, and I’m interesting in any opinions anyone has, leave a comment.