Category Archives: Uncategorized

I <3 Monsoons aka That Time I Realize I’m a Crappy Blogger

You wanna know why I love monsoon season?  This is why.

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Because the sky look like this every night… seriously, every fucking night.  Except it doesn’t look like this, it looks different; every night is a new and different explosion of insane color in the sky that I would just eat with a spoon if I could.  I don’t even know what that means… that’s how awesome these sunsets are, they melt my brain with their beauty until I’m saying things I don’t even make sense.

And that’s just a crappy cell phone picture I took from my car, imagine how great it is real life.

It’s not like that all the time but monsoon season man, monsoon season is the best.  I also love storms which makes it better for it’s own reasons… there’s a huge one going on outside as I type this.

A few nights ago Verona and I went to a pool party and on the way home the sky was upsettingly gorgeous so I asked her if she wanted go on an adventure with me and see if we could get up on a mountain to get a good picture of it and of course she said yes… she’s always up for an adventure, she’s a girl after my own heart.  So we drove around for about 20 minutes as the sunset got more and more gorgeous, trying to drive up one mountain than the next and always being blocked in some way.

V’s screaming “We’re going to catch the suuunnnnsssseeettt!” from the backseat so finally I said fuck it, I was going to try and drive up the steepest, most terrifying road to get to the top of this one place I know about.  It’s probably not all that dangerous, just highly terrifying so I don’t go up there unless I have to.  But I chanced it, I got all the way up there only to find there was some super fancy fundraiser for millionaires in tuxes and whatnot and we couldn’t stop there either.

I was super bummed, we hadn’t been able to stop somewhere and watch the sunset or get a good picture of it (although, for the record, Verona didn’t care even a little bit, she was having a blast) but as I was coming down off the road from hell I saw this.

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It wasn’t in a place where I could stop so I just slowed down, grabbed my camera, and quick shot this out my window.

A good blogger would in some way tie this into a life lesson, about finding beauty when you’re not looking for it… or not having to climb epic mountains to have a wonderful moment… but I’m not a good blogger.  I’m a weirdo from monsoon country who writes moderately inappropriate stories about my kids head injuries, bodily fluids, and affinity for small dead animals.

And since you’re still reading I’m assuming you’re cool with that.

ROAD TRIPPPPPP!!!!

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As my week without kids drew to a close (yes, I promise to catch you up on all the rest of it later) I realized I’d spent almost the entire time working on things and I should probably go on an epic adventure while I still had the chance.  As fate would have it, the magnificent, illustrious, and down right fucking awesome Rachel Ward also had a few days without children… so obviously the only reasonable course of action was a road trip.

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We started by heading up to Sedona… I cannot even tell you how much I love this place.  I’m rarely one to get head over heels over nature, but I can’t get enough of this place.  I think it’s all the bright colors, they make my soul happy.

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Speaking of bright colors making my soul happy, this is my new friend Molly.  She has the coolest hair of anyone I know.

The only thing that makes me happier than making new friends on road trips is making new friends with fabulous hair… or new friends with epic vintage analog camera collections like her husband Miguel.  He and I shot the shit about film love forever and showed each other some of the great pieces we’d collected over the years… I’d only brought four cameras but Miguel’s collection made me drool.

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After a while we headed up north to Flagstaff.

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Flag brought more new friends, this time in the form of an old artist Rachel had met a couple years ago at Burning Man.  We had what was probably on the top three list of best pizza I’ve ever had in my life, then went back to his house to see the crazy skeleton sculptures he’s made and put all over his property and his series of wild cat paintings… I never before imagined there would be a cat painting that I liked but these were insane and awesome.

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As it got closer to sunset we headed west towards Jerome, this funky little ghost town/artist community.  The drive to it through the mountains was gorgeous, we timed it just right.  See that road in the picture below snaking it’s way to the valley?  We got to rock that business with this view for like 30 minutes.

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And the plains in the valley below.

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It didn’t occur to me until way later that I didn’t get any pictures of the city itself on the digital, maybe I’ll show you some once I get film finished and developed.  In the mean time enjoy this polaroid.

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We ended with a late dinner at The Haunted Hamburger, this weird local joint on a hill that may or may not have multiple ghosts but definitely has some of the best fried pickles I’ve ever had in my life.

Come on Mrrrica, You Can Do This

One of the perks of working as a photographer is you have photographer friends… friends that engage in photography projects with you.

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Projects like hijacking the magnificent Adam Bouska‘s genius.

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Seriously, I cannot even tell you how much fun we had.

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Finnegan had a lot of fun too.  He was intent on playing with the tape… luckily Kristen just kept snapping away.

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The Supreme Court is suppose to rule tomorrow, I have high hopes for this country.  :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Facebook

You’d think that because of my raging facebook addiction that this blog would have had it’s own facebook page long long ago.  Well it did… I made it… then forgot about it.  Until today when I saw that a couple people who I don’t know “liked” it and I’m not sure why, especially since I’ve never posted anything on it.

But I will now.  So if you want a heads up when I write stuff here (in addition to other fabulous things) showing up in your facebook newsfeed, to go the Plaid Sheep page and “like” it.  Remember to hover over the “like” button and “add to interest list” or you won’t see updates.

And just to keep it classy, here’s a 90s rap song written in Old English.

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The Five Stages of Presidental Debate Watching

Stage 1: Denial

When the presidential candidates take the stage and you think to yourself this might be ok, maybe these guys will be ok. Just because they’re politicians doesn’t mean they can’t be reasonable, logical people… right?  Just because every experience in your entire life indicates otherwise this time could be different… right?  Right?

Then they start talking and the first couple things out of their mouths aren’t terrible.  Political rhetoric that doesn’t mean anything yes, but it’s not SO bad, and you’re getting more and more convinced that this time, for the first time in memorable history, this debate is going to be an exchange of ideas between two reasonable people with the good of the American people at heart.

Stage 2: Anger

With each passing word you realize it didn’t sound that bad because they were just setting the metaphorical table, now that the forks, knives, and plates are down they can get onto the main course; a nonsense burrito smothered in crazy sauce and served with a side of WTF.

Stage two is when you start getting pissed.  Screaming at the TV, throwing things across the room, until eventually you’re so upset and flustered you’re mixing your profanities around until what you’re saying makes as little sense as what they’re saying.

That’s when stage 3 sets in.

Stage 3: Bargaining

“I can deal with economic policies that screw us all over in the long run, as long as you keep half heartedly attempting to fight for civil rights I’ll still vote for you.”  “On a 1-10 scale of awful, as long as your main talking points are a 6 or below I promise I won’t move to Canada.”  “God as long as you don’t let that jag win I swear I will… oh I don’t know just please don’t let it happen.”

If any of the above phrases sound familiar you’re in stage 3.

Stage 4: Depression

Despair sets in.  All the swearing has worn you out and all you can do is melt into the couch and groan while occasionally muttering things like “We’re all so screwed.”, “Why do we even try?”, and mumble a sentence nobody can decipher with the word “hopeless” in the middle of it.

You remain a semi-catatonic lump of anguish on the couch, broken pieces of hope scattering the floor around you, occasionally punctuating the TV noise with a dejected cry of “Ugh, no!” followed by burying your head further in the pillow until…

Stage 5: Acceptance

You remember these are just a couple political chimps throwing bumper sticker slogan feces at each other, and while it does impact your life this is also something that you have to go though every four years and something that they and a couple hundred other poo-flinging mamals we elected do every single day in Washington.  And the world hasn’t come crumbling around you yet, so it’s probably ok to peel yourself off the couch now.

Moral of the story: You should never watch political debates unless you’re going to turn it into a drinking game, the stress isn’t good for you.

Night at the Plaid Sheep House

My kids are weird, and they only get weirder after night fall.

Last night I was laying down with V while she went to sleep,

everything was getting quiet when suddenly…

She kept telling me to “hang on a minute” while she very urgently bunched herself under the blanket, then decided that wasn’t enough and crawled under the sheet, then kept going further and further until eventually she was in a tiny ball under the fitted sheet next to the mattress.  Then I heard a little muffled but determined voice say from underneath it all…

I did what any good mother of a crazy person would do and felt around until I touched what I was pretty sure was her clavical, and that seemed to satisfied her because she came out and got into bed like a normal human again.

As I lay there listening to her sing a made up song about unicorns and unicycles I felt a tiny hand touch my face and turned to see Finn and woken up and was trying to crawl into bed with us.  So I pulled him up in and he squirreled around while Verona continued singing for a moment until he stopped, looked me dead in the eyes, and vomited all over the bed.

I sighed, got up and got a rag to wipe him and the bed down with, but as soon as he saw it in my hand he freaked out and started grabbing handfuls of vomit and furiously shoving it in his mouth like I was about the steal the only nourishment he’d ever get again.

Once everyone was cleaned up I decided I was going to bed even if they weren’t.  I shut the door so there was no chance of escape and curled up in bed while they crawled around playing.  Eventually they both passed out… Verona on the floor spooning with Barney the morbidly obese basset hound…

…and Finn across my face.

How to fuck with your dog

Daisy, every night for the past five years or so, has slept happily by my feet on the bed.

I gave the dogs an IQ test a year or two ago to find out once and for all whether Barney is really retarded or that’s just a big mean joke, (he actually is retarded… it didn’t surprise anyone) which is how I know that Daisy is a really smart dog.  She just over thinks things and isn’t very good at change.

Which is why occasionally I like to fuck with her by randomly sleeping the wrong way in the bed.

Then I just lay back and watch how messed up it makes her.

After looking back and forth from one end of the bed to the other for a good ten minutes she’ll half heartedly go lay by my feet.  Then a few minutes later she’ll come lay by my face where she normally is, toss and turn and stare at me like “goddamnit mom.”, then end up flopping somewhere in between and moving around all night long while I laugh at her.

I’m so mean.

Let the children out of the cage!

A few weeks ago Lenore Skenazy, author of the book “Free Range Kids” and the blog of the same name invited parents interested in the concept to get together across the country with other like-minded families.  Like any good crazy lady I thought “The chance to hang out with strangers!  Yes!” and posted an open invitation on her blog for a picnic at the park by my house.


It was a blast.  A handful of parents, a small soccer teams’ worth of kids between the ages of teeny tiny and 9 (claiming to be 10), and a vast over abundance of food which I’m sure stray animals will be enjoying the remaining bits of all night long.

It was a perfect place to have it.  All the adults could shoot the shit in the grass while the kids flowed freely between us, the playground, the surrounding fields of grass, and a few giant colonies of crazy bugs they found.

Verona found a new bff in the other little girl there, and proved that you can love making snow angels even if you’ve never seen snow in your young life.