Dogs and Kids

I am a strong believer that every dog needs a child and every child needs a dog.  Verona, incidentally, has started repeating that to me on a fairly regular basis (apparently I say it too much).  But it’s just the way of the world, some truths cannot be denied.

This is what my room this morning.

David and I had officially been kicked out of our own bed… not that either of us minded too much, how could you not be enamored with this?

When we first had Verona I was admittedly a little worried about how the dogs would be with her.  Daisy, although a sweetheart, can get a little crazy at time and Barney is one of the dimmer bulbs in the chandelier for sure, not to mention approximately 6 times bigger than Verona and 10 times bigger than Finn.  But they are both wonderful with the exception of the almost daily occurence of Barney stealing a waffle, piece of toast, or cheese stick straight out of V’s hand, and their love of the kids is only surpassed by the kids love of them.

Herpes in my bed (not, not that kind)

If I had a nickel every for every time I’ve not wanted to let Verona do something because of the anticipated mess I… I feel like I should say something about being rich but the truth is I wouldn’t be, but I would at least have money for us to go to lunch at Applebee’s.

Nonetheless, I usually hold back the impulse to scream “HELL NO!” and let her have whatever quintessential childhood experience I will end up scrubbing of the kitchen floor.

Today was one of those days.  After a months of saying “Let’s do _______ instead!” when she mentioned it I finally relented and got out the glitter.

I thought I was SO smart to do it outside so the glitter couldn’t get on anything in the house because as anyone who has ever used glitter knows, it is the herpes of the craft supply world… once it gets on something it never. goes. away.

Like, ever.

So I stuck the kid on the porch outside our room with glue and glitter and my blessing while Finnegan chilled out on my bed staring at the fan and I did various chores around the room so I could keep an eye on her.

I left the room for like ten seconds.  Ten freaking seconds.  And came back to find Verona standing on the bed over Finn, shaking that little empty bottle of hot pink glitter like a Polaroid picture (hey ya), and screaming “Mommy!  I making baby brother PRETTY!”

Sigh.  Yep, that’s my kid.

DPP :: Well intentioned assaults

December Photo Project

This fantastically adorable picture of the little monsters snuggling during nap time clearly shows that Verona adores her little brother.  What it doesn’t show is that her version of love doesn’t involve the realization that tiny babies are not the same as regular people or an understanding of the word “gentle”.

She drags this poor child all over the house “playing” with him, flops him back and forth “holding” him, and constantly punches him in the hand screaming “POUND IT FINNEGAN!  POUND IT!”  99% of the time no matter how stressful it is for me to watch,  I let it happen because Finn is smiling at her like a moron, enjoying every second of the abuse attention his beloved sister is giving him.

 

DPP3 :: Footie Pajamas

December Photo Project

On my top five list of things I love in this world… footie pajamas.  Specifically my kids in footie pajamas.  Verona usually refuses to wear anything at all to bed regardless of how cold it gets (granted, we live in Phoenix so it doesn’t actually get that cold) but every once in a great while she’ll take me up on the offer.

Also on my top five favorite things in the world list is Verona and Finn… if you weren’t aware.

The night of bodily fluids

Once a week David has a soccer game in the evening.  Sometimes they’re before the kids go to bed so we can all come and watch, other times they’re after they go to bed and I get some time to myself while he’s gone and they’re asleep.  Every once in a while though the game is right over bedtime which sucks because I have no help but isn’t usually a big deal.  Tonight was one of those nights.

We’ve read a few stories, the lights have been turned off, and I’m sitting on my bed with Verona drifting off to sleep next to me and Finn passed out in my arms.

Just as Verona’s eyes close Finn’s mouth opens wide and out of it shoots a horror movie worthy stream of projectile vomit… it covers me, it covers Verona, it covers Finn, it covers the bed, the floor, and the dog.  Vomit vomit everywhere.

Needless to say we took a detour towards the bathtub from bedtime.

When we got out of the bathtub and were walking down the hall back to their room to get re-pajamified…

Despite being only 10 lbs this boy can shoot pee further than most grown men… meaning it went clear down one end of the hall and, when I freaked out and turned him, clear down to the other end too.

I flew into their room and put him down on the changing table while Verona jumped up on her bed but before I could start to clean him off I heard her exclaim in horror

She was horrified that she was sitting in a rapidly expanding puddle of her own pee on the bed so through her tears she ran in shame into the closet, slamming the doors behind her.  All I could think was how fortunate I was that the pee didn’t hit the pillow, sheets can go in the washer but pillows getting messy is THE WORST.  How lucky could I be that there was no pee on the pillow!?!  Before I could try and coax her out so I could clean her up and put a diaper on her though I heard the crying stop, followed by a tiny voice in despair exclaiming

When I finally got her out of the now pee filled closet, cleaned up, and tear-free I turned to Finn who was still covered in pee (although significantly less concerned about it) and heard Verona announce “I help mommy.  I help clean pee.”  I thought that ment she was going to get a towel and try to mop up the pee like she does when she spills a drink but before I could say “thank you honey” she grabbed the pillow, which had miraculously stayed pee free, and slammed it down in the puddle of pee exclaiming

She was so damn proud of being “helpful” there was no way I could get mad.  So instead I pulled out the secret mom card that we’re all ashamed to even admit is in our arsenal… TV baby sitter.  Fraggle Rock was turned on, kids were put in front of it, and I cleaned up my bed, the floor in my room, and all of our clothes which were all covered in vomit and the entire hallway, Verona’s bed, the floor in her closet, and the pillow which were all covered in various people’s urine… all while practicing some serious deep breathing.

Oh, I forgot to tell you the best part.  This morning David got up and made a fabulous breakfast which included bacon meaning the dogs got some grease from the pan poured over their food as a special treat.

Bacon, however, gives them the most rancid gas you could ever possibly imagine.

So throughout this whole horrifying ordeal Daisy and Barney were following us from one room to the next, filling each with their awful bacon farts from hell as we went.

Precursor to the birds and bees

The conversation I just had with Verona while she had Finnegan took a bath:

Verona- “Finnegan have weird belly button.  But cord fall down.  Now have normal belly button.”
Me- “Yeah, the stump of his umbilical cord fell off.  It happens to all babies, it happened to you too when you were a baby.”
Verona- ”Finnegan have normal belly button now.  Verona have belly button.  Mommy have belly button.”
Me- “Yep, we all have belly buttons.”
Verona- “Finnegan not have weird belly button now…”

(she stares at Finn for a few moments)

“but Finnegan have weird vagina.”

Updates

I know I invoked the “I just made a person” excuse in my last post for not having written anything in a while but I’m invoking it again here.  I’ve decided that excuse retains it’s validity for the duration of me having stitches in my lady parts.  So that’s why I haven’t been around, and here are a few updates.

On the family…

We’re slowly getting to know Finn and adjust to having a new member of our family.  Having a new baby is weird because they become a part of your life immediately but it takes a while for everyone to get to know each other so for a while it’s like having a stranger hanging out all the time.  He’s a wonderful little guy though and it’s been fun getting acquainted… love doesn’t always hit you like a truck, sometimes it grows quietly all around you.

On Finnegan…

Finn is eating, and subsequently growing, like it’s his job.  He’s healthy and I assume happy although it’s hard to know for sure when you’re dealing with someone who is still physically incapable of smiling except when he’s passing gas.

He’ll sleep at night… but only as long as he’s in my arms.  Verona is also still a little freaked out by the fact that I was gone for three days when I was in the hospital so she refuses to sleep anywhere that I’m not as well.  Subsequently, I spent every night with her in one arm and him on my chest with Verona’s free arm holding him too.  It’s like a big 10 hour hugfest that David is mostly glad he doesn’t have to be apart of.

On Verona…

I was all prepared for jealousy and regressive behavior and aggression and all the things people say happens to kids when they cease to be an only child.  False.  Verona is so madly in love with this kid the biggest problem we’ve been having is trying to explain to her that sometimes babies need a little bit of time WITHOUT being hugged or kissed.

On me…

I am mind numbingly sleep deprived, my boobs hurt, and my entire body feels like I’ve been hit by a car… and it’s fantastic!  Verona’s birth destroyed me physically in ways I won’t talk about here because I’m worried about scaring you all sterile so after experiencing Finn’s profoundly average birth I’m floored at how much better I feel that I was expecting!  Emotionally I’m loving seeing Verona and David develop a relationship with the little guy and I’m in complete awe of myself for being able to do something as amazing as create life.

Right now…

Right now Verona, Finnegan, and Mr. Crocker are passed out cold so I’m going to go eat a popsicle that I don’t have to share with anyone and then go join them.  Peace out.

 

 

Stop kicking me so we can draw on you

Only a few months ago I was doing awesome belly art on my then very pregnant friend Kristen, this afternoon it was my turn courtesy of a very tiny artist.

When Verona woke up from her nap she informed me that she wanted to draw on her little brother… how she comes up with these things I will never know.  So in accordance with my parental philosophy of “Say Yes Whenever Possible” and my own affinity for drawing on people we got out the big box of markers and had at it.  Here is our collaborative art project. 

Premature Sibling Rivalry

We had our first official sibling rivalry last night. 

Verona hasn’t been feeling 100% lately and subsequently has been really needy/clingy/cuddly/all up in my personal space all the live long day and all the live long night.  So last night, like the few nights proceeding it, included several occurances of her crawling up out of her bed and into ours in the wee hours, where we cuddle for a while until she’s past out cold once again and I can move her back down into her bed next to ours. 

She was curled up next to my stomach and had just fallen back asleep when her little brother from in his cozy uterin home started kicking wildly at her, waking her up.  She grumbled like half awake people do and smack back at my stomach mumbling “no no no” before falling back asleep.  A few moments later he kicks her hard again and she’s smacking at my stomach mumbling “NO NO” in her sleepy state to which he responds by kicking back even harder.  The “fought” back and forth like this for the next ten minutes or so while I used all my energy to hold back the roaring laughter that threatened to bubble out of me and would most certianly fully wake both her and David. 

Eventually I rolled over so she was against my back and could fully rest again and told little dude “Quit waking your sister!” which I wasn’t aware I would have to say for another three and a half months or so. 

They are true siblings already.