I’ve decided to start a new segment on here called “Drunk Bible Stories”, the premise of which is, after I’ve been drinking, I’m going to get on here and tell y’all a Bible story. Why? Because I think it will be funny. And because it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want.
Fair warning, I swear a lot when I’m drunk. Like, so much it would make your grandma have a coronary. So quit reading now if that’s going to piss you off.
So without further ado… The Story Of Job, from the book of Job
Job: “God I don’t understand all the things! I’m so upset that I don’t understand all the things! It’s SOOO unfair! Explain all the things to me or I’m gonna keep going all pissy teenager on your ass about it!”
God: “Are you fucking serious right now? I created the me-damn universe! You live in a fucking tent. You think you can understand me? That’s just fucking hilarious. Now go cook something over a fire and check yourself while I keep managing all of creation, forming new life, and holding the entire freaking universe together.”
Job: *staring with his mouth half open*
God: “Exactly. That’s what I thought.”
The end.
Oh my gosh. This is the best thing ever. Please get drunk again soon and tell another story.
You’ve convinced me.
I second what Erin says!
Since so many of you love it apparently, how can I say no to my adoring fans?
Keep doing this. And draw pictures.
Ok, you’ve twisted my arm. Next time there will be pictures.
Hehehehe. This has got to be the best bible story I’ve ever heard! I agree, we need pictures!
Again–the title alone!